What is the most important ingredient for a successful relationship?

Let me begin by saying this, if you go into a relationship without this ingredient, you’ll come out with tears, hot tears!

What’s the ingredient? It’s Self-love. Yes, Self-love is the foundation for any happy relationship and you’ll see why in a minute.

According to YourDictionary, Self-love is the instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being. In other words, self-love is regard for one’s self. It is the most important factor for a successful relationship because of this simple reason; you can’t give what you don’t have.

If you have zero love for yourself then your partner has zero reasons to love you, I mean, why should they? You hardly regard yourself as valuable and it would reflect in your actions.

On the other hand, when you have a lot of love for yourself, you automatically radiate confidence, importance and value, and these are qualities everyone admires. Hence, your partner treats you with love and respect. As a result, the bond between you two is strengthened.

So the question is,

How can you love yourself?

A quick Google search of this question reveals a ton of pretty helpful advice, however, a lot of them are long lists and it could be somewhat difficult to remember 15 steps to self-love let alone 27 extra steps. So I’ll condense it all into one practical piece of advice… Improve Yourself. That’s the secret to self-love.

It might seem like an oversimplification but it’s not. Self-love is not an excuse to be mediocre or continue with our bad habits. No! Loving yourself involves improving yourself, it involves becoming a better version of yourself; better than you were yesterday. For instance…

When you got your first degree, how did you feel? Elated right! How about when you got your first high paying job or your PhD? How did you feel when you defied the odds and started that business everyone said you couldn’t? How did you feel when you achieved your fitness goals or overcame your addiction? Proud right!

You felt proud and happy, your self-esteem soared, you became more confident, you felt fulfilled, your “market value” went up and so did your standards. That’s what self-love is all about, improving and having regard for one’s self.

It’s ok to recognize your flaws, but wearing them on your sleeve like “hey I’m rude and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Is Not self-love, that’s toxic behavior. Throw it out!

Your weaknesses don’t have to remain weaknesses, some are within your control, work on them.

So go out there and get that job, start that business, learn that skill, learn that language, lose that weight, fix that temper, beat that addiction, Crush It! And You’ll love yourself more.