If your relationship is solid, these 7 things shouldn’t happen

Maintaining a healthy and solid relationship takes work, but it should always feel like work you enjoy doing.

If you want to know whether or not your love is solid, you need to examine any areas that are fragile or on the verge of breaking.

Typically, it takes something big to end a strong and committed relationship, but if you and your S.O. are guilty of any of these little things, you could be headed for trouble:

1. Criticizing each other’s looks

This might seem like an obvious dealbreaker, but body-shaming comments aren’t always as obvious as, “That dress makes you look like a promiscuous woman.” Being critical of someone’s appearance is always hurtful and terrible, even if it’s as subtle as, “You’re wearing that tonight?” Let the person you love wear whatever they want, appreciate the body they have and demand the same from them.

2. Making passive aggressive comments

To the people who make these kinds of comments, it might seem like the easier, less confrontational option, but it’s actually way worse. Don’t let yourself be guilty of this, and if your SO does it, shut it down immediately by letting them know this form of communication won’t be tolerated – especially since it doesn’t help anyone.

3. A lack of true forgiveness after a fight

You get into an argument over something stupid and you both get so heated you can’t even look at each other. It happens to the strongest couples. But once you make up and decide to forgive each other, you actually have to do that. If you bring up something from this fight during the next one, that unresolved anger will slowly chip away at your psyche and your relationship until there’s nothing left.

4. Flirting with other people

There’s a difference between being friendly and being flirty. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with looking at other people or even ogling them on Instagram, and there’s nothing wrong with smiling at them or exchanging basic pleasantries. But when intimate nicknames are assigned, late-night texting occurs and all interactions have a sexual tension to them, shady stuff is going down and it’s so not okay. You shouldn’t feel compelled to do it if your needs are being met by your partner, and they shouldn’t either.

5. Only spending time with each other and nobody else

Healthy couples have ample independence. They make time for themselves, their friends and family, their interests and they’re not constantly with their partners. There’s nothing healthy about extreme codependent behavior. You both need time to maintain your independence and do your own thing.

6. Not having your own hobbies

Maybe you like yoga, archery, and knitting. Maybe your S.O. likes running, baseball, and fishing. That’s good! You should always have your own interests and try new things. Doing some things together is fun, doing all things together is just not. In fact, it’s a recipe for disaster.

7. Hiding your true feelings… about anything

There’s nothing that gets my blood boiling like this idea that women who share their vulnerable sides are “weak” or “crazy.” Screw all of that. Sharing your feelings with someone whom you’ve given the ability to break your heart takes courage, and there are few things scarier than that in this life. So when you or your partner feels something, let yourselves feel it. And if you’re in the mood to share that, then share away. If your S.O. can’t respect your vast emotional spectrum, they’re not worthy of your time.