How to resolve relationship conflicts without hurting each other

Relationship conflict affects even the happiest couples. But how do you resolve an argument when you just can’t seem to agree?

It can feel overwhelming and downright frustrating when you feel like your partner isn’t listening to you. Many couples make the mistake of trying to talk over each other instead of talking to each other during relationship conflict.

But real communication isn’t about who can yell the loudest or who can take pot-shots at the other. It’s about resolving an issue at hand.

How you handle a disagreement says a lot about how you feel about your partner. That’s why we’re looking at 5 respectful ways you can resolve relationship conflict without causing a rift between you and your spouse:

1. Don’t yell – communicate
Communication is the cornerstone of healthy, successful relationships. Partners who communicate with one another build a sense of trust. They understand how the other one thinks and feels and knows what triggers to avoid.

Communicate with your partner regularly – especially if you’re disagreeing. When things get heated, it can be difficult to keep your cool. If you want to resolve relationship conflict without hurting your partner, avoid yelling and name-calling.

2. Learn to listen
Listening is just as important as talking when it comes to conflict resolution.

You show your partner dignity when you hear what they have to say. It would also be wise to stay quiet and patient as your spouse expresses their feelings.

You can also resolve relationship conflict respectfully by avoiding distractions. Maintain eye contact as you talk, and eliminate distractions such as the television, radio, or phone.

3. Choose the right time to bring up differences
If you have an issue you want to set right with your spouse, it’s important to choose the right time to bring it up. Problem-solving will go smoothly if your spouse is alert and in a good mood.

But bringing up a subject that could lead to an argument would not be wise if they are cranky, tired, stressed out, hungry, or distracted.

4. Watch your tone
Do you understand your tone of voice?

We may think we are saying something in a mild manner to our spouse only to have them burst into tears, convinced that we are yelling at them.

If you want to resolve relationship conflict without hurting your partner, avoid using sarcasm or belittling tones.

5. Show respect
When things get heated, you may resort to some disrespectful speech or actions that you normally wouldn’t. Disrespecting your partner is one of the worst things you can do during an argument.

You can resolve relationship conflict without hurting your spouse by taking a minute to cool down. Conflict resolution isn’t about seeing who can yell the loudest or opening old wounds to make your partner submit. It’s about solving a problem.

Show respect to your partner during disagreements by:

Sticking to the topic at hand
Taking your partner’s opinions seriously
Not interrupting your spouse
Listening patiently
Letting cooler heads prevail