When you breakup with a loved one, the first few days, weeks, or even months can be devastating. It is hard to understand what to do with yourself and your life.
Mourning the loss of a once loving relationship can feel like grieving the death of a loved one. A breakup has various stages of separation – it goes from shock, denial, anger, and depression to begging, relapse, and acceptance.
Healing from a devastating event like this is not a linear line. Whether you made the decision to break up with your partner or vice versa, or it was a mutual decision, there are a few steps you can follow to take care of yourself and come back stronger.
Breakups can be hard. But with the right approach, it always is possible to become much better and happier. We have listed 8 steps you can take to ensure you can come through this tough time. Read on!
Dos after a breakup:
1. Try keeping yourself busy
You are going to be tempted to contact your ex. Make sure you minimize that temptation by trying to focus on yourself. You need to keep yourself busy for the first few weeks. It will get better with time. Get your dose of feel-good chemicals by spending time with friends and family and focusing on self-care. Increase your endorphins by exercising.
2. Reach out for support
You are going to miss your ex. But instead of reaching out to them, reach out to family and friends. You may also visit your therapist. Get an accountability partner, because discipline is not going to come easy during this stage of recovery.
3. Go for a digital detox
Stop checking the social media accounts of your ex. More importantly, delete their presence from your mobile phone. If you are reluctant, remember that you can always befriend them later, when you have truly gotten over the heartbreak.
Delete photos, old messages, and unfollow all their accounts. Take a complete break from social media. Block their number if you have to so that you don’t obsess about them not contacting you.
4. Redesign your physical space
Changing your physical space can help you reset mentally. If you stay together, move out as soon as possible. Change your space as much as possible. This can be as little as changing your bedsheets and putting away that framed picture of the two of you.
The more you can lessen your exposure to your ex’s memories, the more you lessen your chances of a relapse.
Don’ts after a breakup:
5. Don’t have breakup sex
You are going to crave breakup sex, but don’t do it. While it is only natural to seek the comfort, if you do have it, you are only recreating an emotional bond whether you want it or not. If you are trying to get over someone, do not get on top of them! Sex with an ex will not let you get over them. It will instead keep you further attached.
6. Don’t stalk their social media
Although it is tempting to Insta-stalk your ex, resist that temptation. Before you check their Insta, stop and ask yourself, “Am I being kind to myself?”
Replace that urge with a positive action that makes you focus on yourself. This may mean going for a jog or writing a letter of gratitude to someone. The first few times you try to do this, you will find it extremely challenging, but the more you practice self-control, the easier it becomes.
7. Don’t rush into a rebound relationship
Don’t get into another relationship too quickly trying to make yourself feel better. In the long run, if you haven’t really gotten over your ex, you will always find yourself secretly comparing your current partner and your ex. Also, you will just prolong the inevitable pain.
8. Don’t get a breakup haircut
Wait for a while before getting those bangs or coloring your hair green for the first time in your life. The same advice goes for getting that tattoo, quitting your job, and any and all other major life changes. Your emotions are likely to be going on overdrive, and you most probably are not sleeping or eating well. These factors can affect your judgment.
