6 common causes of loneliness in a relationship

Loneliness is a sense of feeling disconnected, isolated, and disengaged from others. In terms of loneliness in a relationship, these feelings would apply to your spouse or partner.

Feel lonely even when you’re in the same room with them? Feeling lonely during an evening of watching TV with your significant other is not the same as feeling lonely all the time.

Ongoing feelings of disconnection and disengagement from your partner may be the sign that you’re in a lonely relationship.

Feelings of loneliness can happen to anyone and at any point in their lives, in or out of a relationship.

If you’re feeling lonely in a marriage or relationship, it may be time to consider the reasons why and recognize the signs of a lonely relationship.

What causes a lonely relationship?

Here are some of the factors that can lead to feeling lonely in a marriage or relationship:

1. Intimacy fizzles
Some relationships just lose their spark. If you feel a loss of connection and affection, you may be left simply going through the motions. Intimacy plays a big part in getting deeply connected. Without this connection to your partner, you may begin to feel a sense of isolation and separation, which may lead to feelings of loneliness.

2. Incompatibility
Couples who get together and ultimately find they are not compatible may end up in a dead-end relationship. Resentment, intolerance, impatience, and unhappiness can replace what was once possibly a blissful existence. If you end up in a relationship like this, loneliness could be among the emotions and feelings that bubble up to the surface.

3. Distance and physical separation
When a spouse or partner is away for long periods whether due to military service or work, the physical separation may lead to one or both partners suffering with loneliness.

4. Health problems
Feelings of loneliness may occur in relationships where a spouse or partner is dealing with a chronic illness, battling a serious disease, or is even hospitalized.

5. Emotional issues
Issues like substance use and depression can introduce loneliness into the relationship. It’s important that your health care provider, a therapist, or counselor is engaged. They can help address all factors of the relationship, including the causes and effects.

6. Physical or emotional abuse
Any kind of abuse in a relationship can certainly lead to loneliness, but it can also lead to depression, substance use, and injury, as well. If there is abuse occurring now or in the past, please talk to your health care provider, a counselor, or therapist about it.