10 ways to stop being controlling in a relationship • illuminaija
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10 ways to stop being controlling in a relationship

10 ways to stop being controlling in a relationship

No one likes being around a control freak. A person who likes being in control all the time can be toxic and manipulative. People surrounding such a fellow would feel choked at times, so they prefer distance.

If you have the tendency to be controlling in your relationship, then it is time to consider changing. If you continue this way, your partner or spouse might get tired and decide to quit on you.

Another reason why you must consider change is that being a control freak could have a serious underlying issue. Admitting this problem and desiring for change may help you at a greater scale.

Now, let us focus on saving your relationship. Check out these helpful ways that can stop you from being so controlling in your relationship.

1. Ask yourself what makes you a control-freak
To correct your problematic behavior, the first thing you need to do is find out the root of it. What made you that way? A traumatic experience? Anxiety? Depression? Trust issue? Once you uncover it, you will know where to start.

2. Know that it can make your partner rebel against you
Please understand that your controlling behavior can lead to negative behavior in your partner too. It can make him/her rebellious against you. Meaning, s/he might be tempted to do exactly what you dislike out of anger.

3. Remind yourself s/he is not your slave
Your partner or spouse is not your slave or someone inferior to you. S/he is your equal, so that means you cannot force him/her to do something against his/her will. You do not own the person, remember that.

4. Learn to trust your partner’s decisions
One of the problems of controlling people is that they do not trust others’ abilities. Avoid thinking that your partner or spouse is not capable of making good decisions. If you do not believe in the person, then why did you choose to be with him/her in the first place?

5. Put yourself in his/her place
Try to imagine being your partner. What do you think would you feel if you are stuck with a dictator? How long could you stay with someone who robs you the freedom to be yourself and forces you to behave according to his/her standards?

6. Accept that not everything can go your way
No matter how much you want to be in control of everything, you will never be. Yes, you may be able to manipulate some things to go your way, but it will not always work. There are circumstances beyond your control, and they include your partner’s emotions and way of thinking.

7. Respect differences
Do not expect your partner or spouse to be like you in every way. You came from different backgrounds and you have different personalities. If you want a peaceful relationship, then learn to respect each other’s differences.

8. Give privacy and space
Transparency is important in a relationship. However, it is a different thing when you demand reports for everything your beau does 24/7. You do not have any business knowing what s/he eats for lunch, what s/he wears going out, or with whom s/he bumps into.

9. Stop using threats to get what you want
It is not healthy to use threats just to make your partner give in to your demands. You may get him/her to do what you want by force, but it could strain your relationship. Soon, your partner or spouse might get tired doing things s/he is not happy doing.

10. Be more patient and understanding
Just because you are good at something does not mean everyone is. One task could be simple for you but could be difficult for your partner. If this is the case, avoid being mean to the person. Do not pressure him/her to perfect something s/he is having a hard time doing.

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