Kitchen Party - 2Zambian Marriage Culture Where Bride's Friend Donate To Stock Up Her Kitchen Before Marriage

Kitchen Party is a Zambian version of the bridal shower. We actually thought it was an original Zambian tradition, but its origins are apparently found in the Western culture. From 1924 till 1964 Zambia was a colony of Great Britain. After Zambia became independent they absorbed the Kitchen Party as a new wedding ritual in the Zambian culture.

Before the independence, bridal showers were not performed by the Zambians. Originally the Kitchen Party was called a ‘Kitchen Tea Party. The party helped the bride-to-be with gathering her new kitchen items. Only female guests are invited to the party and as no alcohol was served, the ladies enjoyed their tea. Prior to the ceremony, a committee is making sure to gather all the needed kitchen supplies and every guest donates some money for it.

Besides the tradition of giving kitchen supplies as a gift, the concept of the original Kitchen Tea Party changed to a real Zambian version. The bride-to-be has to stay in a secluded room for a while and will join the party later. During her stay in the secluded room, she will be accompanied by older (only married) women. The women will teach her about how to have a happy marriage, s*xual aspects and how to behave like a wife. After the bride-to-be is fully prepared by the marriage lessons of the other women, she will join the party. She will enter the room covered by a chitenge (a patterned cloth) and guided by the committee of the party (mostly family members or close friends) to a special place for her.

Once the bride-to-be is seated, the only part of the event where men are allowed can start. The Groom will enter the room, guided by other men. This is basically to show everyone who the groom is, and it is also a way of showing: this is my man and from now on he is taken. Some parts of the tradition are a bit commercialised nowadays. For example, the bride-to-be has to stay covered, while the men are entering the room.

The presenter of the Kitchen Party will make sure that the men are giving money to the bride. Once that is done, the bride-to-be can finally show her face. And then sometimes the Groom will be surprised to find out, it was not his bride, but another woman. The men have to leave the room again, and the real bride will quickly enter. After this, the men need to re-do the introduction (including the money ritual), but now for the real bride-to-be. After her face is revealed, she needs to look at the ground during practising some of the traditions. This is basically a sign of respect for her husband-to-be.