Seeing beyond the wedding day fun, marriage is the coming together of two adults who believe they can be together through thick and thin.
Different tribes have their wedding traditions and customs which have significant importance in the lives of the couple coming together whether they see it or not.
The wedding tradition of the Hausa people of Northern Nigeria is one that requires a lot of patience. You might be wondering how?
The whole process of the Hausa marriage takes time to be completed. Moreover, while courting, the couple are not expected to have any s3xual relationship. That alone takes a lot of patience and courage right?
Let’s quickly go through the process of a typical Hausa marriage process.
Kayan Zance
The first step in marrying a Hausa lady is going to her parents to make your intention known and seek their permission to marry their daughter.
Of course, this is after you have done your homework which includes she softening the ground by telling her parents what a wonderful person you are.
You should never go empty-handed. You need to go with your kinsmen bearing gifts like kola nut, sweets, clothing materials, calabash, and the likes.
Courtship
If the proposal is accepted, then proceed to court each other. During this period, there is no s3xual or intimate relationship allowed between the couple. Hausas believe in Shariah law and are answerable to the law if they go against it.
Following the courtship period, is setting a date for the wedding and payment of dowry. The date is usually agreed upon by the bride and groom’s parents and it is called Gaisuwais Sarana.
Now, the couple can be said to be officially engaged but still with no intimacy. Remember sharia law again
Wedding Fatiha [Daurin Aure]
The next stage is the Nikkah Fatihah ceremony. This is the day the couple is pronounced Husband and Wife officially. The bride price is paid on this day and it is a day of solemnization by the two families. The vows are not shared by the couple, rather, by their families.
Wuni [Sa lalle]
Following the Nikkah is the Wuni/ Sa Lalle. The event is strictly for the ladies. This is when the bride gets to spend the last bit of free time with her friends and female members of her family, in her father’s house.
A mixture of henna is made and used to make beautiful designs on the bride’s hands, palms and legs. Her friends and family also get henna designs on their hands but not as elaborate as the bride. Henna is used to bring out the beauty of the bride.
Walimah
Walimah is the reception party held after the Fatiha. It is a-day ceremony where families and well-wishers are being served foods and drinks. Here, the bride is brought out to be counseled by the old and married women after which she will be escorted to her husband’s house.
Kamu Amarriya
This is the oldest tradition and most interesting part of the Hausa wedding. Kamu means ‘catch’ and Amariya means ‘bride’.
Kamu is the final moment between the bride and her friends, which can be heartbreaking and that is why they ensure that the bride doesn’t go away just like that.
The Kamu is like a game, the bride’s face is mostly covered and her friends would haggle the groom and his family with a price to see the bride’s face. It is only when the bride price is paid that the veil of the woman is opened.
It can be a little harder for some families when the bride has these ‘special friends’ who would not let the groom’s family, not without a lot of pampering and pleading, these ladies can play hard to please at times.
This is the beauty of Kama because no bride is cheap and can be easily bought over with money just like that in the traditional setting.
Sometimes, the friends of the bride can place her in the midst of covered up fake brides and the process of Kama begins…
Who is the right bride among all the covered ladies? It is something that the groom can easily do if he really knows his lady but this day, he may be clueless.
When the groom’s family is able to identify their bride, she is all theirs and they would spray her with sweet perfumes and off they take her for a dance.
During this test, the true nature of the groom and his family is known. Is he able to stand the heat or he patient enough?
Sayan Baki
Although the bride is escorted to her new home, that is not the end of the event in some Hausa cultural weddings. In some parts, there is the Sayan Baki meaning friendly debate between the bride and groom’s family to make them socialize.
Budan Kai
Then there is the Budan Kai meaning unveiling of the bride in another part. It is organized by the groom’s family to welcome the new bride while showering her with gifts