6 signs that you might need marriage counselling

Much like a new set of dishes that gets scratched from constant use, relationships can also show wear and tear over the years.

Marriage counseling should be something you should register for when you tie the knot. So how do you know if your marriage has hit a rough patch or it’s something more serious, requiring professional help?

Below are 6 signs that tells you might need marriage counselling:

1. Poor communication
When It’s just too frightening to even bring issues up. Whether from sex to money, or even annoying little habits that somebody blows out of proportion. Then, you need marriage counseling. A therapist’s job is to help the couple clarify their issues and to help them understand what they are truly talking about.

2. Your sex life has significantly changed
Most people feel that when there is a loss of intimacy, there are problems. While this is true, it is also important to be mindful of a sudden increase. Either an absence or a sudden increase of sex in your relationship can signal danger. You have not been having regular or passionate sex. All of a sudden, your partner behaves like a courting lover. Or he wants to experiment with new activities that he has never expressed an interest in before. It could indicate that he is experiencing feelings of arousal that are not originating from his relationship with you!

3. Holding on to the past
It might be a good idea to talk to a professional when there has been a traumatic event in your life as a couple. Like the loss of a child or an affair– and one partner cannot let the past go. Whatever the situation, every person processes trauma differently.

4. A recurring issue
One red flag that usually can be greatly helped by therapy is an issue that has been difficult in the relationship from the beginning. But regardless of endless discussions, it never seems to pass. When you see that the same issues are coming up again and again in disagreements, it is a good sign they are not resolved and you’re at a sticking point. Seek help to save many years of trouble down the road.

5. Finances
Disagreements over money are one of the top reasons couples find themselves in conflict. If your spouse keeps you in the dark about family finances or feels the need to control everything related to money, it may be time to speak up. You could say, “I want to be aware of our debt, our monthly bills, the balance on our mortgage, how many savings/checking accounts we have, etc.” If your spouse objects, it’s time to see a counselor.

6. Kids
Yes, children are a blessing, but they can also add stress to your marriage. Especially if the two of you are not a united front. Seek counseling if you disagree with each other’s parenting styles and frequently argue about how your children should be raised.