Benue Community Where Dead Relatives Receive Fee, Drinks Before Daughters are Given Out in Marriage

There are many things that make the area
thick. Tucked in the mountainous region of
Benue where nature unleashes some of its
harshest venom, moving in and out of the
community can indeed be a tiring venture.

With a topography as rugged as the word
sounds, Otukpa is in a class of its own.
Situated 180km from the capital, Makurdi,
and bounded to the West and North by
Enugu and Kogi states respectively, the town
is the largest of the three districts making
up Ogbadibo Local Government Area.
An agrarian community with most of its
dwellers into farming, palm wine tapping
and hunting, the people, according to
findings by Saturday PUNCH, are very
industrious in nature and love to
accommodate visitors as well.
But beyond their environment and
hardworking spirit, it is the inability of many
of her young men and women to marry at
ease that has shot Otukpa to national
prominence. Confronted by huge financial
demands from family members of potential
brides, many men of marriageable ages
have been forced to abandon their
relationships with such ladies, remaining as
bachelors or going elsewhere to get a wife.
For the women, who appear the biggest
victims of this practice, they either find
husbands elsewhere or simply console
themselves by bearing children out of
wedlock. Cases as this abound everywhere
you turn to across the area.
“At the time I was to get married in 2014,
the items listed and the amount demanded
by my parents totalled N435, 000,” a hair
stylist, Joy Ameh, told Saturday PUNCH.
“This was apart from the huge amount that
we were to spend for the church wedding
proper. At the end of the day, the man
backed out and the marriage never took
place.
“I am 32 years now and getting older, how
long will I wait to find a husband to marry
me? It is as a result of this that I decided to
at least have a child. Even though it is
outside marriage, I am not ashamed of my
action,” she added.
Indeed fulfilling the demands of brides’
families in the process of picking a wife in
this Benue community has always been a tall
order for many suitors over the years. For
example, apart from the bride price
determined by the woman’s family or clan,
the cost of traditional marriage, which
hovers between N150, 000 and N600, 000
in the least cases, is also determined by
them.
In the event that the groom is from another
community or the bride is a university
graduate, the amount charged would be far
higher. Basically, before marriage finally
takes place, a potential groom must fulfil
requirements in three stages – the
introduction, date taking and the traditional
marriage proper.
Under the first stage where the man is
expected to formally signify his intention of
marrying a lady, he may spend between N6,
000 and N30, 000 depending on the family
he is dealing with. This is aside from cola
nuts and palm wine he must present
alongside that amount.
For many of the natives here, the second
stage – date fixing, which is very critical, is
usually the most dreaded. It is the phase an
intending groom meets with the parents of
the woman whose hands he seeks in
marriage to discuss the sum total of what
he is expected to spend. It is also the stage
at which a date for the traditional marriage
is fixed and specific amount demanded
from the man. He could be required to pay
at least N700, 000 or more, depending on
the value they place on their daughter.

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